Midwinter was the first time that I had communion in the Methodist church. One of the big defining moments in my faith was my first Midwinter retreat in junior high. Midwinter was where I met some of the people that have made the largest impact in my life and it was where some of the people I already knew truly came into my heart. I feel extremely definite in saying that if I had never been on a Midwinter retreat, I would not have the confidence in my call that I have today. I honestly couldn’t tell you where I would be or what I would be doing.
As I began leading and planning Midwinter, it became one of the most stressful, beautiful experiences of my life. I got to know some of the rock star adults that today are still my heroes. I figured out my own strengths (and weaknesses!) and I made friendships that have moved my heart to a better place. I have had few experiences that have made me feel closer to God than those that are attached to Midwinter.
Tomorrow is my 19th birthday and I will be driving to Glen Lake to prepare for the last Midwinter retreat of my high school career. This is something I’ve dreaded for a long time. Not only because now I am the person in the place of people that I have looked up to for years; Not only because there are a million ways that things go wrong, but mostly because I know that this is the end of something beautiful and the beginning of something undetermined.
But, taking a page from the book of my selfless and magnificent Twin, Carly, I’m praying that God will use me this weekend. I don’t want a good small group. I don’t want to look like a big deal. I want God to put me to work instilling change in the hearts of these youth the same way my heart has been changed. And if you would pray for this, for me and the other students leaders this weekend, I would greatly appreciate that.
And also that we don’t fill up Glen Hole with our tears…that would also be nice.